And That's What You Get
by ohwhatsherface
Summary: Crack. Fed up girlfriends take a new turn and bite their so called significant others straight in their asses...together.


**Disclaimer – I do not own Gundam Seed. **

**Randomness that was just made for the sake of hilarity and a question to a what if that goes on in my head whenever I watch GS or GSD; there are so many fish in the sea, so why the hell do they even bother to wait on _them_?**

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**And That's What You Get  
_written by: ohwhatsherface_**

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A pair of men watched the news since there was nothing else worth watching on television.

"_And it was no surprise when exactly two years ago, the votes were tallied up, and Lacus Clyne, daughter of our ex-chairman, Siegel Clyne, became the new chairwoman of the PLANTs. Miss Clyne has done many great things for us, here in the PLANTs, and we all believe that her new marriage will add to the list of good deeds she's done. I believe that Miss Clyne's relationship will not only show people that it is perfectly okay to be with someone of the same gender, but that Naturals and Coordinators can live peacefully and lovingly with one another_—"

Kira Yamato was livid. "How could she do this to me!"

Athrun Zala was just as furious. "I know! And with _her_!"

Irony was quite the bitch.

…Or maybe it was just like that to Kira and Athrun.

But perhaps, having your girlfriends dump you flat and run away together and tell the world of their relationship with one another was their punishment.

It had been three years since the Second Bloody Valentine War took place, and Lacus was finally fed up; a woman could not stay with someone for some amount of _years _when all they did was mope. She felt for Kira, she really did; war was a horrible thing and watching people die along with being behind the gun, pulling the trigger was difficult to get over, but was it so hard to do something fun or adventurous with her!

When Athrun had returned back from space with the rest of the Archangel crew, to Orb, Cagalli greeted him with open arms, the way she did everyone else.

He had hoped that when he came back, everything would go back to the way it was before, but things were different.

Cagalli had returned the ring to him, telling him to give it back to her when he thought he was really ready to be with her forever and never leave her again. Perhaps it was her way of getting revenge on him for telling her that they'd only have a chance together if she got out of the alliance Orb had with the Atlantic Federation, since she knew that never leaving her could be impossible; who knew when another war would need to be fought? He was a soldier and it was his duty to fight.

So for three years, they had lived the single lives.

Cagalli remained Chief Representative of Orb, stronger than ever, and with more intent to keep peace.

Athrun joined the Orb Military, and was now a Colonel, like Kira.

Lacus stayed in Orb for about a year or less and then returned to the PLANTs because she wanted to check up on everyone there. When in Aprilius City, she decided to run for Chairwoman.

After being elected, she still kept a healthy relationship with her quiet boyfriend.

They stayed together for another year until Lacus snapped.

It was a ladies night, something Cagalli and Lacus did together often, either when Cagalli was in the PLANTs or Lacus was on Orb visiting Kira. One thing lead to another and ten shots of tequila each later, they woke up in an awkward situation.

Surprisingly enough, the two were neither embarrassed, nor ashamed by what had happened. They accepted that they had slept together that night.

In fact, they were quite…

…pleased.

And so, their little liaison lived on for half a year until they felt that they needed to make their relationship official.

It happened on the night of the ball Cagalli had planned for her secret girlfriend's birthday on Orb. After everyone left for the night, the two had sat down with Kira in the living room with Athrun there as well because he was bored and curious about what the pair had to say; Cagalli and Lacus were sitting together on one couch, a little too close for comfort but their nearness didn't phase either of the boys, while Kira sat on one chair and Athrun leaned on a wall.

Kira's sister had started the conversation off.

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"_Kira, before we tell you the news, we want to say that we are deeply sorry for keeping it from you." _

_She didn't see the need to apologize to Athrun since neither of them had been together for the past three years. Sure, there was the occasional one night stand, but there were no feelings in it—or at least on Cagalli's part. _

_The brunette was simply confused. "Um, okay…"_

_Lacus looked miserable as she tried to find words to say. Kira was about to reach over and grab her hand in order to show comfort and support, but his sister did the deed instead; Lacus raised her head and smiled at Cagalli sweetly._

_And then something hit both men._

_They had both seen that smile before! _

"_No—"_

"—_way."_

"_Kira, I'm sorry but I don't want to be with you anymore. I found someone new. And I'm in love with them." She squeezed Cagalli's hand. "I am with Cagalli now."_

_Both girls looked deeply into each others eyes and kissed lightly, ignoring the dramatic gasps coming from both boys._

**-**

"I repeat, _how_!" Kira shouted at the television which was now displaying wedding photos. "With my _sister_!"

"My ex fiancé with my…ex fiancé…" Athrun said to himself while staring at the screen.

"_Orb's Chief Representative Attha and her wife, PLANTs' Chairwoman Clyne both made quite a bunch of changes to a traditional wedding, not only was there no groom, but they didn't even wear the appropriate wedding gowns!_" The hostess giggled. "_But nevertheless, both of the brides looked absolutely stunning in their dresses._" The cameraman zoomed in, showing Cagalli wearing a gown in a shade of mint green and Lacus wearing one that was light pink. "_I'm sure I speak for us all in the PLANTs and down on Orb when I say that they make a wonderful couple and that we hope they have great lives together._"

"No you _don't _speak for everyone you warped up lady!"

Kira buried his head in his hands. "Athrun this is your fault!"

"WHAT!" Athrun glared at Kira. "_My_ fault? How the hell did you get to the conclusion of blaming _me_?"

"If you and my sister were still together, then they wouldn't have had that affair!"

"Of course they would you idiot! It's an _affair_; it wouldn't have mattered if I were with Cagalli or not!"

The brunette sighed and got off of the couch, walking over to the kitchen counter. "You know, they even had the gall to invite me their wedding…"

Athrun nodded. "I got an invitation as well…"

They sat silently, still shocked that the women who they thought they were going to spend the rest of their lives with were now married to now one another. The silence was interrupted when Kira's phone rang, and then a woman appeared on the screen beside it.

"_Um, Kira?_"

Violet eyes narrowed at the innocent machine as did the green ones across the room.

"_Cagalli, are you sure you should be doing this?_" asked a voice on the other line.

"_It'll be fine sweetheart_," the one who asked for Kira responded.

Athrun whimpered miserably from his spot on the couch. He used to be the only person Cagalli would call sweetheart; she said it was a stupid name and would rarely ever say it because it was embarrassing to let out of her mouth, but since she loved him that much, she'd humiliate herself just for him and call him the dreaded word.

Now she was humiliating herself for _Lacus_!

"_Baby, I don't think Kira wants to talk to us…_"

Kira growled with waves of jealousy rolling off of him. What the hell? Why did a girl get the girl he wanted? Why did his _sister _get the girl he wanted? Why did _Cagalli_ get the girl he wanted?

"_I know, but I want to explain things to him…and Athrun too. I'm sure he's there with Kira now_."

"_Do you think they're following suit, and _comforting_ each other_."

Cagalli giggled. "_No, I don't, Lacus, and don't joke like that; they might get even madder if we talk about them being gay together_."

Their jaws dropped in disgust as they looked at each other and then turned away shuddering.

What the hell were those girls thinking!

The blond twin cleared her throat. "_Okay, Kira, Athrun, I know you're both there, so please, hear Lacus and I out._"

"_And please don't be angry at us…_"

The boys felt somewhat guilty at the sadness in Lacus' voice.

"_Cagalli and I are in love with each other!_"

And the guilt washed away…

"_You see, I had always been such a great fan of Lacus' when I was younger…I guess I was just using you Athrun; it was pretty awesome to be fooling around with the fiancé of Lacus Clyne…I'm sorry…And when you left for ZAFT before the second war…Lacus reminded me of you with the way she just wanted things to end…And I fell in love with her even more…_"

Athrun was silent while Kira stifled a laugh.

"_And Kira…Your sister was just so much like you _before _the first war escalated even more. She gave me that satisfied and overjoyed feeling you could no longer give…And you two just looked so alike…it was like being with the old you all over again…_"

They heard Cagalli sigh.

"_Well…we just hope you two could accept our marriage…We were really hoping that you guys could attend our wedding. I really wanted you to walk me down the aisle Kira…_"

"_And Athrun, you were always more like an older brother to me that a fiancée, I was really hoping you'd do that same for me today._"

"_Well…I guess we better go now…We're going on our honeymoon tonight—_"

"_Did you pack the handcuffs?_" Lacus cut in.

Cagalli laughed. "_Of course I did! And the whip too! We can't forget that one!_"

Lacus contentedly sighed. "_Well, this is goodbye for the next few weeks. We made sure that there were no phones on the island we're staying at. It's in the middle of the Indian Ocean; we had a cottage built there for us. Oh Athrun, you might know the place, I heard you had to spend the night there one time. Doesn't it have such a beautiful view of the ocean?_"

His green eyes narrowed. Well that was just great; Cagalli invited Lacus to have sex for three weeks straight on their—as in he and Cagalli's—island!

Life was cruel.

"_Not even a war is going to interrupt this honeymoon. I've waited so long to be married…_"

Athrun scoffed and he felt his eye twitch. Cagalli wouldn't have had to wait at all if she went back to him after the Second War damnit!

"_Well, Lacus and I really have to go this time. Maybe you two could comfort each other…Bye, Kira, Athrun._"

"_Bye, you two!_"

And the screen turned off.

Kira sat down beside Athrun.

"I hate them."

"Me too."

"I can't believe my sister would do this to me."

"Both of my ex fiancés are together now."

"What the hell is their problem!"

"Were we really that bad…?"

"We were perfect gentlemen to those two ungrateful women!"

Kira turned his head sideways and narrowed his eyes at Athrun.

"If you even think about being gay with me I'll shoot you."

They both scooted down to opposite ends of the couch.

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**Making silly a one shot is a good stress reliever… Now I need to complete a mountain of homework, get stressed out again, and make another dumb story. Review please!**


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